If you thought the term ‘muscle car’ best described some Seventies big-block Chevy or tire-fryin’ Dodge Charger, you might want to think again.
Fast forward to well, today, and ‘muscle car’ perfectly describes the 2025 blunt instrument BMW X6M Competition I’ve been driving. Or better still, make that ‘muscle’ SUV.
Look at the thing. Those bulging fenders were surely modeled from Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s massive, gym-honed guns. That air-gulping front end had to inspired by a military A-10 Thunderbolt II, affectionately-known as the Warthog.
And while it has that high-ridin’, mountain-climbin’ 4×4 stance of a sport-ute, the sloping rear window has more in common with Steve McQueen’s Mustang Fastback from the movie ‘Bullitt’.
Then there’s the power and performance. And here the word ‘insane’ kinda comes to mind.
Under that vast Texas-sized hood resides a BMW Motorsport-honed, twin-turbo 4.4-liter V8 that’s paired with a 48-volt mild-hybrid system. Working in harmony, the honking V8 and all those ohms deliver a combined 617 horseys and stump-pulling 553 lb-ft of twist.
Pedal to the metal, you’re looking at zero-to-60 mph blasts in a mere 3.7 seconds, with a top speed electronically-limited to 155 mph.
This is officially BMW’s ‘bad boy’ SUV, a $133,275-and-up, testosterone-fueled performance rocketship that butts heads with slopey-back rivals like Audi’s 591-hp RS Q8, the 650-hp Porsche Cayenne Turbo, and Mercedes-Benz’ 603-hp AMG GLE 63 S Coupe.
Of course it makes absolutely no sense. For less money – over $5,000 – you could get into BMW’s similarly-powered, square-back X5 M which offers a lot more practicality and load carrying.
But who needs more practicality when you can have something that spins heads, looks this wild, breaks rules and throws convention to the wind? It’s a design thing.
And it drives like a dream. Step on the gas and it feels otherworldly in the explosive way it delivers those 617 horseys. Coco the Clown being ejected from a Ringling Brothers circus canon doesn’t feel this much thrust.
It’s not just off-the-line sprinting where it excels either. Merging from a freeway on-ramp, scything through slower traffic, blasting out of tight curves. All just breathtaking.
And this forward motion is accompanied by one of the sexiest, deepest, rumbliest soundtracks this side of Pavarotti hitting the low notes in Nessun dorma.
This is truly one of the world’s great engines. That said, fuel economy sucks. Don’t expect much more than 13 to the gallon around town and just 18 on the highway. The EPA’s combined figure is a miserable 15 mpg.
Show it a curvy backroad however, and it all makes perfect sense. Surgically-precise steering, low-roll cornering and the kind of grip you only get with a gallon of Gorilla glue, makes the X6M a sportscar in disguise.
One downside is size. On the road the X6M feels big and bulky, and rides with no shortage of jolts and jitters. Even with the adaptive suspension set in ‘comfort’ mode, potholes and sharp ridges send jolts through the body. It’s the price you pay for that Competition badge on the trunk lid and 21-inch front, 22-inch rear wheels.
Talking of trunk, while the X6’s fastback rear does shave a few cubic feet off the load space compared to an X5, it’s still an accomplished load carrier. Think 27.4 cu ft with the back seat in place, and a whopping 60 cu-ft with its folded flat.
As you’d expect of a $133,000 BMW, the cabin is a wonderful place to be. It’s all glorious, hand-stitched leather – sexy red with our test car – with lovely diamond quilting.
New last year was the 27.2-inch sweeping curved center touch screen that looks like it came out of your local cineplex. The graphics are needle-sharp.
No, this latest X6M Competition won’t be for everyone. But for anyone looking for a modern-day musclecar in an SUV coupe body, it’s an enthusiast’s dream come true.
