This week we engage in a wholly unscientific, marginally informed survey of local beers in a can.

It’s a departure from my unusual one-vs.-one contest between restaurants. Because craft beer is so big in Tampa Bay, with dozens of independent breweries, and because I didn’t want to limit my tasting to just two, and because there was no way I was going to drive around to different establishments and drink tap beer — although that would’ve been the best way to do it — I hopped in the car and drove a mile to the nearest ABC Liquors, where I picked out seven locally brewed beers encased in aluminum tubes.

First, a few words about my choices. I drink Bud Light. I am neither proud of that, nor ashamed. It does the job. Because of my pedestrian leanings, I sought out light lagers, ales and pilsners — in effect mirroring Bud Light the best I could — and threw in an Irish red ale because I enjoy one on occasion. No porters, stouts, or sours. And definitely no puckery pale ales.

I bought a single can of each, which further narrowed my selections.

You will not find in the descriptions below any references to flavor notes like orange peel, clementine, toasted coconut and the like. I lack the sophisticated palate necessary to detect that stuff. I’m a ham ‘n’ egger who likes an easy-drinking beer and the buzz it provides.

Bench Life by Green Bench Brewing Co. (St. Pete)

Light Lager, 4.6% alcohol by volume (ABV), $2.59 12 oz. can

This is Bud Light for folks who want to drink local. Bench Life went down easy, with only the slightest bite on the front end. My pour into a pint glass produced plenty of froth.

This is the one brew in this lineup that I could knock back four or five of, but I found it generally nondescript. I already have my Bud Light, which is a whole cheaper.

Dead Parrot by Florida Avenue Brewing Co. (Tampa)

Light Lager with Sea Salt & Fresh Limes, 4.2% ABV, $2.99 12 oz. can

It is me, or does the name of this beer a put-off? Let me suggest a tweak: Dead Parrothead.

I’m happy to report that this Florida Avenue flavor does not contain any remnants of deceased birds. It does, however, have lime. I generally like to keep my fruits and my brews separate, but Dead Parrot was the closest I could find to my parameters.

The good new is that I rather liked it. Most important, the lime was present but not overwhelming, giving the brew zing and a touch of pucker. I’d stop after one, maybe two, but they would hold my attention.

Beach Blonde Ale by 3 Daughters Brewing (St. Petersburg)

American-Style Blonde Ale, 5% ABV, $2.49 12 oz. can

I admire the sly pun in the name, and I also enjoyed drinking this beer. It’s an ale, but it’s not pale — not dry or cloying. Beach Blonde is more substantial than the lagers I’ve tried, but still offers easy drinking.

A sly citrus flavor sharpens the slightly hoppy base. Beach Blonde would work well as an occasional alternative to Bud Light. I’d be good for three of these.

Fail Safe by Woven Water Brewing Company

Czech Pilsner, 4.8% ABV, $4.59 16 oz. can

Czech (or Bohemian) was the original pilsner — named after the town of Pilsen in what is now the Czech Republic. I looked it up.

Failsafe uses Barke Pilsner malt and Czech Saaz hops, so its claim to being an authentic Czech pilsner is legit. What does that mean taste-wise? The beer was a bit hoppier than than the lagers I’ve tried (including Bud Light), and had more bite going in. It had a creamy, full-bodied texture. I could go for a couple of Fail Safes.

I appreciate the can’s subdued, artful design.

Green Dart By King State (Tampa)

German Pilsner, 4.4% ABV, $5.19 16 oz. can

Although the beer-geek world says that Czech and German pilsners have vastly different flavor profiles, I really couldn’t tell the difference between Green Dart and its Bohemian cousin, Failsafe. Green Dart was probably a bit creamier.

I should’ve done a sip-by-sip comparison, but I had already knocked off the Failsafe. My bad.

It’s comforting to know that, according to the can, this is “The Original” Green Dart, and not one of the multitude of copies out there.

Day Donkey by Tampa Bay Brewing Co.

American Pale Lager, 5.2% ABV, $4.59 16 oz. can

Ooops, there’s that word: pale.

Although this seasonal summer brew by TBBC is a lager, it has a dryness that characterizes pale ales.

I finished all 16 ounces, although I drank it slowly, which, come to think of it, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Day Donkey was crisp and bright, but had that lingering pale aftertaste that I can always do without.

I cannot see drinking multiples of Day Donkey out on the boat on a summer afternoon. One was my limit.

Red Right Return by Marker 48 Brewing (Spring Hill)

Irish Red Ale, 6% ABV, $3.29 16 oz. can

And now for our outlier, the Irish Red.

Marker 48, located in the northern nether regions of the Tampa Bay area, has a crude website that doesn’t market its canned beers. The establishment is by and large a brewery and tasting room, so I was a bit surprised to find a can of Red Right Return on a shelf at an ABC in St. Pete.

Overall, a nice surprise. The potent brew, an inviting reddish brown, was bold but not overbearing, and pretty smooth as Irish reds go. It makes an impression when it hits the throat, and doesn’t leave an unpleasant aftertaste. RRR retained its character to the very last gulp.

And the Winner of the Local Beer in a Can Contest Is …

BUD LIGHT!

I kid.

Beach Blonde Ale.

No beer was wasted in this exercise.

By all means, do try this at home.