Weekend Wheels: The adrenaline rush of the Mercedes-AMG GT 63 S A

Yes, the day will come in the not-too-distant future, when your electrified  cocoon-on-wheels is driving you autonomously to who-knows-where, and you’ll smile. 

You’ll smile because you’ll remember the time when there were cars in the world like the Mercedes-AMG GT 63 S.

You’ll remember fondly how, back in 2020, this mighty Merc came with a thundering twin-turbocharged 4.0-liter V8 under the hood, packing a staggering 630 horsepower. 

A car that could catapult you to 60mph from standstill in an insane 2.9 seconds and break every U.S. speed limit without getting out of second gear. 

But you’ll take comfort knowing that when your self-driving electric Uber delivers you safely back home, you’ll be able to take the wheel of a “classic” AMG GT 63 S — on your in-den simulator, wearing a pair of fancy virtual-reality goggles. 

That’s tomorrow. Today — or maybe in a few weeks/months when we’re no longer social-distancing — you can walk into a Mercedes showroom and get handed the keys to an AMG GT 63 S. 

That, of course, is presuming you have the required $162,200 — or $199,505 very nicely loaded — burning a hole in your chinos.

These are indeed the glory days of the performance automobile. Days when a four-door, four-seat family fastback is built to do one thing, and pretty much one thing only, go insanely fast.

So join me from the comfort of your Clorox-wiped sofa for an end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it blast in this, arguably the craziest, and certainly the most fun, four-door Mercedes ever built.

But first stand back and gaze at the beast. It is truly a blunt instrument, albeit a beautiful one. Here is nothing less than a four-door, all-wheel-drive coupe version of the two-door, race-proven AMG GT two-seater. 

Of course it’s designed for the racetrack and brims with the extraordinary, over-the-top technology needed to lap Sebring or Daytona, at scary-fast speeds.

It offers no fewer than six driving modes to tailor the 63 S to your personal preferences. Seven if you include a slightly juvenile Drift mode. 

For the road, you’ll love Sport+, which feels like you’ve added a triple espresso to the steering, suspension and exhaust. 

Climb aboard — always a little bit of a challenge because of the steep rake of the windshield and the high bolstering of the AMG Performance bucket seats — and hit that ‘start’ button. 

Whoomff. It’s the sound of the most powerful iteration of AMG’s hand-built 63 V8 coming alive. Godzilla with a hangover doesn’t sound this angry.

And just once, every 63 S owner, or test driver, needs to find a deserted back road — or preferably a drag strip or race track — where they can experience the Merc’s truly mind-blowing, off-the-line acceleration. 

Here you dial up Race mode, anchor the brakes with your left foot, stomp on the throttle with your right, and when the tach needle goes no further, just step off the brakes.

Words can’t describe the punch-in-the-gut assault on your body as this AMG projectile catapults off the line. Your face distorts, eyeballs get squeezed back into your cranium, your neck hurts.

The only things close: an F-18 pilot being shot off a carrier; a Ringling Brothers clown getting fired out of a cannon; riding The Slingshot at Daytona Beach. 

And with Mercedes’ masterful 4Matic all-wheel drive system, there’s no unruly spinning of wheels or fricasseeing of rubber. No, the car just lunges.

Keep your right foot hard down and before long you’ll see 195mph on the speedo, and no doubt blue lights in your rear view.

This is a truly spectacular machine, a real speed demon, a fairground thrill ride you can drive to the grocery store. 

Chances are, there’ll never be another one like it.

Test drive the 2020 Mercedes-AMG GT 63 S at Crown Eurocars of Pinellas Park, Mercedes-Benz of Tampa, Lokey Motors of Clearwater, Mercedes-Benz of Wesley Chapel, and Mercedes-Benz of Sarasota.