I’m apparently part of a small minority of Americans who’ve never been gaga over Girl Scout Cookies.
Bonnie informed me that some decades ago she’d been the “cookie mom” for my daughter’s Girl Scout troop and would store stacks of boxes in the house. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t remember that. I guess I never raided the stash.
Then it occurred to me: I’ve tried Girl Scout Cookies and didn’t much like them. I know Thin Mints, and maybe one having to do with Samoa (Samosas?). So I’m essentially a blank slate when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, and that makes me uniquely qualified to evaluate them in the year 2024.
We’re in the thick of Girl Scout cookie season, which runs between January and April. My colleagues procured five types (of 12 available) for me. I tasted them in one sitting at the FFF Lab™. My accompanying beverage was 2% milk. The boxes cost $6 per pack and were sold by Cora and Emma of Troops 61127 and 61106.
Before we begin, a disclaimer: I fully support the sale, distribution and consumption of Girl Scout Cookies. For this exercise, I’m assessing and ranking them strictly on flavor and quality.
LEMON-UPS
The cutest of them all — sunny discs etched with inspirational sayings. They were crispy-crumbly. The lemon flavor could’ve been more potent.
TAGALONGS
A smooth, milk-chocolate exterior gave way to a bit of peanut butter filling surrounded by crackly cookie. The stubby little things blended their flavors together pretty well. They’d be better with a dark chocolate covering.
TREFOILS
These are the kind of dainty morsels you should have at afternoon tea and eat with your pinkie out. They started to crumble at my touch. A basic shortbread cookie that didn’t make much of a flavor impression — but maybe that’s the point.
SAMOAS
I remember these! The coconut, the dark chocolate swirls, caramel that politely takes a backseat. Moist and chewy, relative to the other ones I tried here, with a flavor that bordered on complex. These Samoas seemed smaller than I remember. Two bites max, unless you’re a nibbler.
THIN MINTS
It’s not overstating it to call these cookies iconic. The minty aroma hit my nose as soon as I opened the package. Fortunately, the peppermint flavor was not overbearing and worked well with dark chocolate shell. They weren’t as thin as I remembered.
Okay, time to rank:
1 — Samoas
2 — Thin Mints
3 — Lemon-ups
4 — Tagalongs
5 — Trefoils
My unscientific conclusion is that most people don’t buy Girl Scout Cookies for the flavor or quality. Any grocery store aisle, let alone bakery, offers cookies that are better and cost less. People buy them to help out the kids. And, man, does it work. The organization says that, during the season, Girl Scouts sell enough boxes to bring in $800 million.
If astute readers noticed that I tasted five types of Girl Scout Cookies but the lead photo shows only four boxes, that is because our esteemed publisher, Mr. Thomas L. duPont, could not resist opening the Lemon-Ups and thus ruin the package.
One Response
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